hey there..

it's been quite a long time since i posted my last blog.. i have been busy these past few months.. or i'm making myself busy for other things instead of doing this blog.. thanks for still reading it and i hope that my past blogs will always inspire you and keep you going despite of all the problems that you'll face if you have any prayer requests or are there things which you think i can help you at just e-mail me .. take care and Godbless..

if you're one of my high school friends..i miss you so much..!!!

falling deeper and deeper..

i find myself lying in bed thinking of wonderful thoughts. Jesus has saved me from eternal death and now I'm living a fearless life. a life which i can say worth living because i have decided to obey God's teachings. i'm recently reading this book entitle "the Heavenly Man." it really inspired me to obey God and to preach the gospel. it also allow me to be faithful in times of distress. i heard this wonderful song last night and it really blessed my soul and renewed my spirit.

Night and day I seek Your face

Long for You in the secret place

All I want in this life

Is to truly know you more...

As the waters cover the sea,

So Your love covers me

Guiding me on,

Roads unkown

I trust in You alone

My Saving Grace

My endless love

Deeper and deeper I'm falling in love with You

My one desireMy only truth

Deeper and deeper I'm falling in love with you

And I will rise on wings of eagles

Soaring high above all my fears

I rest in Your open arms of love

"my heart's desire is to give You glory, honor and praise!"

no one's at rest cause the Earth never stops spinning..and we're on it..

nice title right..just one of the application of the uncertainty principle proposed by Heisenberg..which i think is applicable in our life..nothing's really certain bout this life we're living..i think the only thing is that all things work together for good for those who love God. i'll stick to that right now. and will still hope for something real that will happen in my life. i'm tired of all the routines i'v gone through each day. i'm tired of going to the same school, riding the same jeepneys, passing though same places and doing same things everyday. as if after i've read the book Veronika decides to die i bagan to feel what she's feeling when she decided to die.. haah..but i won't decide to die.. cause life is somehow beautiful beacause of the people around me..especially my family..

let's go to the point of the title..i'm realy uncertain about how he feels. i think he already know. he ignores me. i don't know what to do. I WANT TO TELL HIM DIRECTLY BUT I'M STILL WAITING FOR A SIGN. he doesn't care!! i hate what i'm feeling..



..tears run down, but still i wanna wait..

pretending not to care..

i can't explain what i'm feeling right now. as if i'm into something undefined, uncontrollable and unimaginable. i was able to feel this before, that time is when i was hurt by someone i loved. right now, i can consider this situation like the situation i've experienced before.

he pretended not to notice me at all. he didn't even cared how will i feel after i'll found out. and as if he really cared at all. thank God i've found it out.

i don't know if this is a way of telling me to stop all those things that i'm doing for him and to let the Author og my life to make His own story for me.i was so stupid not to be careful about this. i think he already knows what i'm feeling for him. after i realized that he might came out with this conclusion, i didn't know what to do then.

i decided not to do anything. but, he didn't even noticed. he even snobbed. it was hurtful. but i know i can handle this.


+ let go and let God +

let go and let God..

at last..high school is over!!..we just have to finish all the practicing and other things for graduation.. but we still have 24 days to go..so there are still lots of things to do.. lots of parties, overnights, open forum, movie tripping and mushy things to do. i can say we have very minimal time to do all those things.. i hope that i could end this part of my life without regrets or remorse.

as this end starts, i realized a lot of things which put me where i am now..i rememdered my friends and my elementary days decisions.. it was to don't study at the school, where i'm actually about to graduate.. i really don't like the school and preferred pup..but God is great..He gave me what is the best for me and He's still providing me with things i need. indeed He is a wonderful Creator and Author of my life.

now, i'm again at a turning point of life, deciding where to study college. but i know if i trust God and just keep on praying and by giving glory to Him in everything i do, His perefect plan for my life will happen and i will surely succeed in everything i'll do.. thank God!

”‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.’” (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

..back to where it should belong..

this week was such a busy week for me. it was also a very exciting and surprising yet complicated. people started to act strange this week. but i manage to put all things back to normal again.

it was a week of romance, tragedies, laughters, tears..and all. i can say is that it's one of the week that i should be marking on.

aside from being unusual, this week has opened a door for me. a door i kept on knocking but doesn't answer. at last it did. last saturday. there was this guy i'm trying to be near with and at last he gave me a chance to prove myself to him. maybe it's a plan of God. His plans are perfect.

i was so happy that time because this guy is my dream guy for years, he helped me to be close to God. he's one of the person who taught me how to rely on God whenever we need something. i became faithful to God since then. and even though he's not there i get used to relying on God because He's the firmest foundation of all..


i got passed the scholarship. now, i don't have to worry about my college. what a gift. i asked God for it, pray hard for it..and He gave me the thing i've benn praying for. He's really a good Father if your just doing your household chores..hehe..serving Him..

...hold on to God,..if you cannot..don't worry He's holding you anyway..


God may take everything away from me, but still i'll trust Him..

ice cream..

there was an ice cream vendor at our school. and i was shocked when the ice cream vendor told me 'di ba suki kita dati? 4th yr kn?' haha.. i was stunned to hear that the he still remember me. yeah i was buying ice cream then. but i never thought that it was that often that the vendor remembered me. anyways, i ate 2 P10 ice cream today. i don't know why i thougth of eating it, it's not because the weather 'cause it's very cold. ugh, strange, ryt?

i realized that i haven't included here in my blog my friend Regsh, she is my partner in crime whenever i feel like going to gigs and concerts. she taught me of many things, from cutting my own hair, to eating 'fried ice cream.' that fried ice cream is one of the weirdest food that has ever made. it was literally fried but not in hot pan, but in an extreme cold pan.

another thing that made this girl totally fit my shoes was the thing that we always want to discover new things. and we take decisions rapidly. one time, when we were about to go home, (we tried to walk home) we bought ice cream and sat on the benches at the 'tabing ilog.' from there rockwell was just about a ride. i asked her if we can go there, she thougth for quite a minute and decided to go there with p20 in my pocket! but, we survived the adventure and kept it in our memories.

ice cream is quite an important role in my life. without it maybe a lot fun have been missed..

eat ice cream!

Godbless..

a lonely night..

i'm still finishing my project, and waiting while my bestest friend's files are downloading. i have so many things to do but I have very minimal time to do all those things. so far, sleeping is a luxury i can't afford. whenever i lie at my bed it felt like i work 3 jobs.

there are still lots of things to do in school, personal interests and all. i want to organize my stuffs so that it will be easy for me to transfer to my dorm at college. i'm planning to study at UPLB, but i'll try to reconsider so that i can transfer to UP Diliman. i guess life will be easier if i can transfer there. but i still want to have a dorm because i want to focus on two things when i get to college,studying and serving God. i want to focus. i't not saying my family is a hindrance in doing all of these. i just to be independent. i want to be in a place where i can focus my mind on these twothings. i'm always praying to God to help me in making decisions and in planning things for myself and for the good of people around me.

it's really hard making decisions, but i know this is a training for me for bigger decisions to make as i go on with my life as a Christian. i know that i can make it through because i have Him guiding me all the way through His greatest plan for my life.

*God has better plans for than what i have for myself*

i passed the upcat!

all seniors in our school was really excited because the results for the upcat is finally released. and thank God i am one of the people who passed the test. all of us were happy and got excited for college.haha. i just want to share the happiness.

[ to God be the glory ]

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD."
-Isaiah 55:7

..an unfinished masterpiece of Christ..

last sunday was a day i'll never forget. it's a day when the devourer put me to a test which i passed through Him who always give me continuous strength. my parents was arguing with me because i was such a brat and my brother told me that im a fake Christian. it really crushed my heart and my faith and felt unworthy of everything God has given me. i cried. and thought of stopping my service to God. i talked to my mom and she told me that only God can help me in my problem.

the next morning i woke up full of hope. hoping that God would reveal the answers for my prayer that day. the day went well and normal. alittle tiring beacause of the exams. i tried to sleep, but, felt that there is something misssing. that's why i tried to open this book, which is to be read everyday. it says on the date of Sunday that we should never give up on the service for the Lord just because we felt that were unworthy. i was surprised. i never thought that God will answer me that directly. and it says thare this verse, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (I John 1:9).

i guess it answered my prayer, and decided to go on, serving Him, to the ends of my days.


'Jesus is not yet done with our lives!'

NCAE..what the? a test which will surely make us cry..

Bob Ong style of writing..

ang NCAE..isang exam na hindi ko malamn kung para saan. sa batch pa namin inemplement. akalain mo nga naman ang inaakala naming problema na pagpasa sa up ay mas hihigitan pa nitong isa. kuru-kuru at tsismis ng mga guro ay hindi daw kami makakatuntong ng kolehiyo kapag hindi namin ito naipasa. kaya kami namang mga estudyante ay nagpanic at nagsisigaw ng mga limang segundo at balik ulet sa pag pupusoy dos. ngunit hindi ibig sabihin nito ay winalang bahala na lamang namin ito. naging usapan din ito sa canteen at corridor ng mga 4th year ng ilang mga araw. ang iba ay natatakot at ang iba ay hindi alam na meron nito.haha. pero ganun pa man tuloy na tuloy na ito bukas. at kahit nagtanung-tanung ako sa mga katabi kong pinipilita imulat ang kanilang mata dahil sa nakakaantok na guro sa harap kung magrereview sila at malamn na mgababasa sila, ito ako gumagawa ng mga bagay na hindi ako maipapasa sa NCAE. ammaya na lang ako nmag-aaral pag sinabihan na ko ng aso namin na amg-aral..haha..

ayon. pagdasal nio kami.

salamat.

a dream was shattered, a hope was born..

the result of the ACET really made me sad, because, i didn't pass. ADMM is my dream school even though i know we can't afford it i still believed that somehow God will give me that school. but, he did not. i cried after i checked the internet for my name in the ACET passsers. my mom told me that it's all right we can't afford anyway and God has planned something better for me. it was really a big deal for that i questioned God for not passing the exam. but it felt good that there are still a lot of good school out there for me wherein i can excel and be a good leader and a servant.

i know that God has planned a great story for me. and i will just trust him as long as i live.

[to God be the glory]

..an angel..flew away..

this is a song that i really like..hope you'll like it..this is for someone i liked--but fled from my heart..this has a mesage which state that i should'nt let him go...but i have to or else i'll hurt myself more...but i'm really glad i took back what i felt for him. it's really hard letting go of a feeling then suddenly holding it back.. it's not really a big deal if you'll see me..but deep inside me,it really hurted me..


let go of the broken glass that you're holding before your blood runs out...
'Anghel'
Mula nang makilala ka
'Di na makapaniwala
Na kahit pa magkaiba
Tayo'y sadyang naging isa

Sa langit ay ba't kumalas
Nahulog ba mula taas
Pakpak mo ay pakibaklas
Nang makasama ka nang mas madalas

Anghel sa lupa, mananatili ka
'Di na hahayaang lumipad at iwan ako
Anghel sa lupa, nahuhumaling na
Langit nadarama 'pag kapiling kita

Sana'y 'di na lumisan pa
'Di ko yata makakaya
Ang 'di ko na makita pa
Pagtitig mo sa 'king mata

Naliligaw ba ng landas
Nariyan ka ba kaya bukas
Pakpak mo ay pakibaklas
Nang makasa ma ka ng mas madalas

Dapat ba sa isang mortal ang sa iyo ay magmahal

[bleeding inside]

those three words i said too much but not enough..

Forever..

I'll Worship at Your Throne
Whisper my own love song
With all my heart I'll sing
For You my Dad and King
I'll live for all my days
To Put a smile on Your face
And when we finally meet
It'll be for eternity

And how wide You open up Your arms
When I need Your love
And how far You would come
If ever I was lost
And You said that all You feel for me
Is undying love
That You showed me through the cross


I'll worship You my God
I love You
I love You
Forever I will sing
Forever I will be with You
Be with You


*God is the best author*